Marriage vs Career! Still a Choice?

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With our modernity still remaining skin deep, are the Indian daughter-in-laws glorified household maids? Why is it still a choice to either become equivalent to your partner by earning with him being a career woman or doing his dishes and clothes and raising children? What exactly is Marriage vs Career?

Even in the most stable income households, modernity limited to the women wearing skimpy outfits and not a formal shirt. Career is very important for a woman after marriage if she wants to live a life of dignity and not a boring housewife who watches the television dramas. The reason this still remains a choice is that, first, our fathers are not impressed with our goals of being a successful woman, because they have a different future planned for us, and if we manage to get past them, there is no guarantee that your future families will be supportive of them. They will give you a lot of reasons or they burden you with impractical responsibilities to avoid “going out”.

Choosing career over marriage or marriage over career are both life altering decisions. These points are the gist of marriage vs career dilemma. If you work full time this is how marriage affects your career:

  1. Your time outside job is no more free time, but family time, you will have to set priorities.
  2. The understanding of the nature of your job by your partner directly affects your happiness in the relationship, if your job requires long hours, or late hours, they need to be discussed with a broad and open mind.
  3. Financial independence sounds great, but what happens when you want to lean on? Or yours is not enough? This too has to be squared out with your partner.
  4. Promotions, transfers and travel plans become difficult to accept.
  5. Your spouse might become jealous of your co workers if they are the other gender.

In the fight between marriage vs career, you can choose career. If we spring upon choosing career over marriage, here’s what you retain

  1. Your sanity. Yes, sanity from daily household dramas, and getting busy into your weekly targets does keep you sane.
  2. Financial independence, because that is the sole reason work was invented. Also read thisHabits of financially smart woman;
  3. A happier & healthy you equals to a healthy marriage.
  4. No more waiting idly at home, cooking 3 times a day, watching tv, but a busy mind sharpening itself.

There are a few other things that affect your decision, first you can choose to work full time only if you have a lot of free time and there is someone who can take your responsibility or your husband can share it because managing a home is not less than your full time job. Even a simple decision like eating out might not be solely yours anymore.

Babies and kids- A complication?

It’s never easy being a mom trying to juggle a full-time job with a family life. Rather than dwell on how you’re not with your child, think about how your role in the company is benefitting the family. Perhaps you can afford certain classes or educational opportunities for your children or you’re able to put away savings for college. Being efficient in both world requires being able to come to terms with choices and focus on the priorities that are in the moment.

Building a career with marriage- middle road for marriage vs career

There are a few things you will have to make sure of:

  1. You want to make sure that your partner knows through your words and behaviours, that you are dedicated to him or her, even if you are not always available and the fact that you value their perspective, seeking their approval or advise before making decisions,and making sure they have opportunities to use their gifts and pursue their goals in a feasible way.
  2. Your spouse will disappoint you, and you will disappoint your spouse. But you can see this as an opportunity to extend forgiveness and to learn together how you can do things differently next time.

The AGE factor

There’s another factor we haven’t talked about- AGE. When you are in your mid-twenties, when you have not started a further family, it’s okay to focus on career and become a career woman, as there is a lot of time left for future, you are healthy, you can travel, you and your husband can gain a certain financial level together and achieve your travel/vacation goals.

But, when you have stepped into early or mid-thirties, when you want kids, you might want to focus on family first as the first few years of a child’s development are crucial and you might not find a perfect good quality daycare, in such cases, freelancing is a good option.

For a healthy marriage, you should be married two or three years before bringing your children in the world. And that is a lot of time to become a career woman if you have the necessary qualifications. You can always control where you spend your time and energy one day at a time.

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